The Tough Stuff:
Civility and Conflict
We are in the people business, so various types of conflict between people and groups is ubiquitous and a normal occurrence in any organization. Many mistakenly think that an absence of conflict equates to a healthy organization. It’s quite the contrary. An “absence” of conflict means people may be taking their disagreements ‘underground’ organizationally, (where people incessantly complain about the situation informally to others, often trying to a build coalition of people who agree with their perspectives about the conflict). Or arguments ensue in meetings over who is ‘right’ or who should be responsible for certain tasks. Unattended to, simple disagreements can escalate, ill-will, incivility and harmful behaviors that act as a way to work around the conflict becomes a part of the organization’s culture. All of which adds to overall organizational disfunction, which leads to more dysfunction, damaging the ability of the organization to move forward on its tasks at hand. Unhealthy conflict becomes institutionalized and a part of its culture fabric.
As leaders, we need to understand that conflict it is simply an indication that something needs our attention (see Nurmi and Darllng, 1997) and it occurs when “…one party perceives that its interests are being opposed or negatively affected by another party” (Wall and Callister, 1995, p. 517). When properly facilitated, any level of conflict presents new and different possibilities and outcomes. The important takeaway here – we need to create a culture where our employees and leaders understand that conflict isn’t in and of itself negative – it provides important information, and we must learn how to deal with and resolve conflict.
Types of Conflict
Relational Conflict
Occurs when people struggle to get along due to personal differences. These conflicts often stem from differences in values, communication styles, or personality traits. Think about the people with whom you interact with that just ‘irritate’ you (for whatever personality-related reason) – that’s relational conflict. When this conflict remains unchecked, disagreements become personal instead of professional.
Task Conflict
Occurs when group members have differences in opinions, ideas, or perspectives on how tasks should be completed. For example, conflicts might arise over how resources should be allocated, the best way to approach a project, or how certain facts should be interpreted.
Process Conflict
Occurs when group members disagree on how work should be carried out, such as who gets assigned which tasks or how responsibilities are divided. These conflicts often stem from implied feelings of unfairness or being undervalued or disrespected.
Organizational Structure Conflict
Occurs when our employees disagree with organizational rules and practices that control daily interactions in pursuit of organizational goals (e.g., hierarchy, authority and control over resources is distributed in a centralized manner or in a decentralized manner).
One important distinction to be aware of when you are dealing with conflict is that one or two people in your workplace may be acting as “conflict entrepreneurs”. A "conflict entrepreneur" is an individual(s) who deliberately exacerbates or manipulates conflict in the workplace. These individuals often cause and exploit disagreements for personal or ideological gain, rather than seeking resolution. Conflict entrepreneurs can seriously disrupt workplace operations and negatively impact your culture.
This book by Amanda Ripley is an excellent resource on this topic: High Conflict: "Why We Get Trapped and How We Get Out."
Begin with the awareness of and a commitment to your need to “Engage the Mess” and actively embrace and resolve conflict (Fletcher & Thornton, 2023). Conflict resolution first requires an understanding of the type or source of the conflict. Proactively concentrate on team building, building trust and awareness by articulating the value different work styles (DISC, Myers Briggs); always encourage transparent communication where differences of perspective about task or processes being considered are welcome, discussed and debated. Identify and address issues of role clarity, role ambiguity and inequities that underly the conflict. See below for some resources on the topic.
Resources
Hidden Brain Podcast
Host Shankar Vedantam interviews researchers whose scholarship have practical implications. Here are some episodes related to conflict resolution.
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US 2.0: Living With Our Differences
This episode explores how minor disagreements can escalate into major conflicts and examines strategies to defuse them. Psychologist Peter Coleman discusses how thought patterns can deepen divides or help mend fences.
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Relationships 2.0: How To Keep Conflict From Spiraling
This episode focuses on managing conflict effectively rather than eliminating it. Harvard psychologist Julia Minson shares techniques to prevent disputes from spiraling out of control and emphasizes the importance of working together despite disagreements.
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US 2.0: Win Hearts, Then Minds
This episode addresses everyday disputes, such as conflicts with neighbors, and highlights approaches to finding amicable solutions through understanding and compromise.
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Difficult Conversations How to Discuss What Matters Most
Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, and Sheila Heen (2023). Difficult Conversations How to Discuss What Matters Most. New York, NY: Penguin Books. From the folks at the Program on Negotiation, Harvard Law School.​​
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5 Strategies for Conflict Resolution in the Workplace​
Catherine Cote (7 Sept 2023). 5 Strategies for Conflict Resolution in the Workplace. Business Insights, Harvard Business School.
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​The Top 10 Soft Skills in Business Today Compared to 2012
Fletcher, S., & Thornton, K. R. V. (2023). The Top 10 Soft Skills in Business Today Compared to 2012. Business and Professional Communication Quarterly, 86(4), 411-426. https://doi.org/10.1177/23294906221148453 (Original work published 2023)